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If you have recently been served with divorce papers, you are no doubt not having your best day ever. Whether you were more or less expecting this moment to come or whether it was the last thing you expected, the critical thing to understand at this point is that, apart from whatever personal and relational concerns you are feeling right now, the courts are now involved. This is not like breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and, even if you think you can salvage the relationship (or if your personal feelings toward your spouse veer in the opposite extreme), your primary concern at this moment needs to be properly responding to the legal action to which you are now officially a party, putting your economic future (and potentially your relationship with your children) at stake. Regardless of whether you want to repair the relationship or erase your spouse from your memory, now is the time to take cool, level-headed steps to protect your interests without incurring further damage to yourself.

Be Careful What You Say to Your Spouse

Your first impulse may be to call up or confront your spouse and give him or her a piece of your mind about what you really think about the marriage and all their shortcomings, much less what type of future they can imagine for themselves in response for serving you with divorce papers. In short, you should resist that temptation, as it is unlikely to help you and will probably only hurt you.
Divorces take a number of months at a minimum to finalize, so at the very least there is no rush for you to express your “concerns” before any legal action becomes irreversible, and doing so in the heat of the moment will probably only antagonize your spouse. While there is no rule saying you cannot speak to your spouse after divorce papers have been filed, if your spouse is represented by counsel, that spouse is likely being advised to take note of your communications. Words that can be perceived as threatening, intimidating, or even reflecting an unstable character can easily be used against you down the line in your divorce, especially in issues relating to custody.

Consult with Experienced Attorneys Until You Find One That’s Right

Few people think of searching for a lawyer as a great pick-me-up in moments of crisis, but talking to an experienced family law attorney in your jurisdiction is likely going to be far more fruitful and constructive in the long run in protecting your interests than stewing to your friends and family and needling non-lawyers (and lawyers who are not family law attorneys) for information about how you are going to fare in a divorce.
You or others you know may have had experiences with less-than-helpful attorneys in the past, but there are kind, knowledgeable, and helpful family law attorneys in every jurisdiction, and you should feel no hesitation in consulting with as many attorneys as you need to until you find one with whom you feel comfortable. Again, whether you believe reconciliation with your spouse is possible or not, the fact of the matter is that you are now a party to a legal action, and your attorney will need to work with you to make sure your interests are protected from the outset with all relevant issues, including spousal support (which can in some states be requested immediately), property division, child support, child custody, and other issues).
For any questions on family law in California, contact the Law Office of Kelley C. Finan today to schedule a consultation to discuss your circumstances.