There was a time not so long ago when prenuptial agreements were considered mildly scandalous and the exclusive domain of wealthy men entering into their third and fourth marriages with younger wives who may or may not be in it for the money. And while prenuptial agreements may have been used in ways that were considered less than romantic or even fair in the past, the use of prenuptial agreements has become widespread with both men and women understanding that they are a valuable tool for both spouses to achieve lasting financial security while avoiding the unpleasant aspects of a potential contested divorce proceeding down the road. With that in mind, here are a few suggestions on how to ask your fiance to consider a prenuptial agreement without upsetting them.
Explain the Mutual Benefits of a Prenuptial Agreement
In California, prenuptial agreements must meet certain requirements under the law intended to achieve fairness for both spouses if they are to be considered enforceable. Thus, they cannot exist to favor one spouse exclusively over the other. And, in many aspects, a prenuptial agreement will serve to further both spouses’ interests, including:
- Providing a clear picture of what both spouse’s financial rights and obligations will look like after a divorce, meaning neither spouse can “surprise” the other in a divorce
- Avoiding the delay and high expense of a contested divorce battle, should the marriage come to an end
- Keeping each other’s private details outside of the public view of a potential divorce trial
Express Your Commitment to Your Fiancee’s Long-Term Security
In the same way that buying fire insurance on a house does not mean you plan or hope for the house to burn down, having a solid prenuptial agreement does not at all mean that you are planning for or otherwise expecting a divorce. It’s simply a worst-case scenario planning to make sure that neither spouse has to suffer through unnecessarily high legal bills in a divorce over financial issues that you are able to calmly work through before the marriage begins. By framing your interest as a commitment to your fiancee’s long-term security (as well as your own) and not as an “escape hatch” from the marriage, you can better make the case for a prenuptial agreement.
Encourage Your Fiance to Speak With an Experienced Family Law Attorney
An experienced family law attorney can provide a more detailed explanation to your future spouse of the benefits he or she can expect with a prenuptial agreement, and can do so without the emotional messiness and perceived conflict of interest that might be present in a conversation just between the spouses. Furthermore, a prenuptial agreement will only be valid in California if both spouses consult with their own independent counsel anyway, so this will be a critical step at some point in any case.
For any questions on creating, negotiating, and/or finalizing a valid prenuptial agreement in California, contact the Law Office of Kelley C. Finan today to schedule a consultation to discuss your circumstances.